The Rejection Letter

by Kutlwano Mokgoro

The truth is, I want to believe you

When you say you love me

When you promise to never hurt me

Never lay a hand on me

When you say “Not all men”

I do, I do want to believe you

But the ugly truth is, every time I look at you

I either see the best thing that could happen to me

Or a one-way trip to meet my Maker

Please forgive me for being skeptical of your love

But it is a direct result of living in a country

Where I’m constantly made to feel like the last piece of chicken

On Christmas day.

I cannot get over the fact that one day

You might become my absolute worst nightmare

When I look into your eyes, I see the potential you have

And I start to wonder, ‘how would you do it?’

Would it be easier for you to wrap my body,

Blood still seeping like the red sea, and burn me

Or would it be more entertaining for you

To leave me on my mother’s door step

And say “Good riddance.”

See I understand quite clearly

That it’s “Not all men”

But I also understand that love and death

Is all one and the same,

In this country

There’s no difference in between

And while I want the Love

It seems I cannot have it, without having to

Play Russian Roulette with you

At least once in my life.

So please do forgive me

I’m not a risk taker

I cannot love you,

Not when I see my funeral

In your eyes.

PDBY publishes poetry submitted by University of Pretoria students. Submissions can be sent to editor@pdby.co.za. All submissions can be read at pdby.co.za.

PDBY is the official student newspaper of the University of Pretoria.
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