Most students assumed that growing up would come with all those adult perks yearned for over the years. No more bedtimes, the freedom of going anywhere at any time, and no one nagging you to eat your vegetables. Well, like with most aspects of the adult world, get ready to be disappointed because PDBY is now here to nag you.

Eat your vegetables! The life of a student requires an occasional healthy reboot after days of late nights, alcohol, caffeine, and fast food. Vegetables do not always have to be the bane of one’s existence, much like a night out on the town: it is what you make of it. This quick broccoli salad is the equivalent to preparing for a lousy night out only to spend the night at home with your best-scenario person by your side on the couch. Not only is the following day spent in bliss, but your body will be grateful for the healthy, wholesome adulting. Take it from a 23-year-old who still holds a grudge against salads, this one is not like the others.  

Ingredients (serves 4-6):

For the salad:

1 head of broccoli (R25.00 for 1 head)

half cup of sun-dried tomatoes in oil

(R63.00 for 240 g)

half cup of red onion (+/- R6.00 for single

onion)

quarter cup of dried cranberries (R60.00 for

double pack of mixed fruit and nuts)

quarter cup of almonds (included in pack of

mixed fruit and nuts)

For the dressing:

half cup of mayonnaise (R40.00 for 750 g)

half cup of Greek yoghurt (R50.00 for 750 g)

2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar (R35.00 for

375 ml)

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon maple syrup or sugar

Recipe:

Start by taking out a large mixing bowl and place it centre stage on the kitchen counter. Take your beautiful broccoli in your hands and drench it in water like an Instagram influencer who managed to find a waterfall. After you have dried the broccoli, take a sharp knife (or a blunt knife, if you want the challenge) and cut your broccoli into bite-size pieces. After you have completed the chopping of the tiny trees, realise you forgot to take out your big mixing bowl, sigh at yourself, and take out your mixing bowl. Place the chopped trees into the bowl.

Leave your trees to unwind for a moment as you take out your packet of mixed fruit and nuts. The recipe does not explicitly require you to purchase this packet, as it will require you to take out certain nuts and fruits that crashed the party, but it is the cheaper alternative to purchasing an entire pack of almonds, cranberries, and seeds. After selecting your ideal mix, toast them on a small skillet for two minutes or until they start to brown. Alternatively, place them in the oven set on a low heat. If there is anything I have learnt from watching my mother cook over the years, it is that these bad boys sneak up on you. Never let your guard down. At first they refuse to toast, after which you become frustrated and turn up the heat or look down to scroll on Instagram for a few seconds at most. Then you look up and the rascals are burnt. Like a loving partner, be patient and attentive.

Next up is the dressing. In a small bowl, throw in your mayonnaise, yoghurt, apple cider vinegar, maple syrup, salt, and a generous amount of black pepper. Take a whisk, pretend you are performing at a festival and mic drop into the sauce. Whisk and walk, whisk and walk. After whisking, gently place your sauce to the side. It is time to add the chopped onion, dried cranberries, toasted almonds, seeds, and dressing to your trees. Take your sundried tomatoes and cut them into small pieces with scissors, or a knife if you are a fancy pants, while repeatedly saying “Yes, Chef” as if Gordan Ramsey is leaning over your shoulder. Take your bowl and toss. Shake it up like a girl dancing in the club after breaking up with her toxic boyfriend. Let loose and boogie.

Your masterpiece is now complete. A beautiful salad that will impress both your mother and your body. You are a precious soul, and your body deserves some fuel to keep it going. Remember to tell at least three people that you made and ate a salad; pretentiousness adds flavour.

Danielle Yeatman

Originally published on the PDBY website: Recipe for Success: Barack O’ Broccoli